Thoughts of the Lady in the Tower
2004-04-30 - 8:25 a.m.
Lady Rhiannon isn't the only one suffering an SCA crisis of faith, though I think ours have different sources.
It's a difficult thing to write about here, but she asked what it meant to be a peer, and that is somewhat relevant to my problems.
Syr Richard, my love, my peer, and my friend, is a senior peer.
Unrelated side note: We got a good laugh out of the shield he was using at practice this week. It's an old, heavy(!) shield that he practices with to build up endurance. I found out on Wednesday that I am one year older than that shield (that will also tell you about the age difference between us!).
Back to the point of this entry. We came into the group at a time when the group was advocating change. We had ideas (we're idea people), and since they were (initially) open to change, we shared them.
The part that gets me so much about what's going on now is that I keep getting told, "Alienor, you need to keep your ideas to yourself more and let Richard speak."
They're the same ideas! Richard views his role as a senior peer as one of guidance. That's part of what it means for him to be a peer. He says that he's been recognized, now it's my turn.
They say things come easier from him BECAUSE of his status. The way he views his responsibilities prevent him from taking a real active role (unless the group was headed for real self-destruction and no one else could do anything, but FORTUNATELY we aren't at THAT point).
No, the group is suffering from growing pains. It's not dreadful, and it's not the end of the world, but it's annoying. All I want is a group that 'functions'.
I was told that as an INTJ my definition of 'functioning' is different from most other people. A fascinating letter from a SCAdian who addressed some of my problems in terms of my personality profile. I'm acting in a typical fashion for INTJs (and getting a typical response). Need to learn to be . . . I dunno . . . appear less like an INTJ?
Which got me wondering if we could get the whole group to take the test and perhaps we could understand the different approaches better.
Probably too much to ask.